The Night My House Went Up In Flames
I’ll never forget that cold, drizzling night in January when I stood on the street, watching in disbelief as my house burned to the ground. We had just moved in three months prior, and our garage was still full of unpacked boxes. My family was safe, but my beloved pets were lost, along with the majority of our worldly possessions.
In the aftermath, friends joked that I was taking my love of minimalism to the extreme as I struggled to rebuild my life with the blank slate I’d been presented. But as I shared our story on social media, I was inundated with messages from others around the world who had faced similar tragedies – whether it was a fire, flood, tornado, or burglary. I found solace in the realization that we weren’t alone.
Even more comforting were the stories of those who had chosen a simpler lifestyle after their own devastating losses. A single mom in Louisiana moved into a tiny house on her parents’ property after a tornado took her home. A widow in Salt Lake City downsized from her large family home of 40 years to a cozy 2-bedroom condo, freeing up resources to spend more time with her scattered children and grandchildren. A family in Kansas lost their 4,000 sq ft home and business to a flood, but found relief in downsizing to a 1,100 sq ft home, with the husband working from home.
Losing everything really does force you to reevaluate your lifestyle and your needs. In the days after the fire, while we bunked down at my husband’s parents’ house, I found I needed very little – a few changes of clothes, some toiletries, and the essentials for my kids. Anything else seemed unnecessary.
Coping With the Aftermath
I hope you never have to experience the devastation of a house fire, but if you do, here are some lessons I’ve learned, as well as tips I’ve gathered from others who have lost it all:
1. Protect Your Family First
The most important thing is to get yourself and your loved ones to safety. Don’t worry about anything except the basics – shelter, food, and clothing. Your family, especially young children, will need your strength and protection above all else.
2. Allow Yourself to Grieve
You can’t begin to recover until you’ve mourned what you’ve lost – whether that’s a loved one, a pet, your sense of safety, or your physical possessions. Seek counseling if you need it. Healing from a major life change like this takes time, so treat it as such.
3. Gratefully Accept Donations
In the days after the fire, our neighbors showered us with clothes, shoes, small appliances, books, toys, and even home decor. We were incredibly grateful for these items, as they bought us time before we needed to start replacing things ourselves. Accept these gifts with an open heart, knowing you can always pay it forward later.
4. Don’t Rush to Replace Everything
While you’re hurting, take a moment to dream. This is your chance to build a new life from the ground up – literally. What does that look like for you? Write it down. Define your vision for the rebuilt life you want. This might be the perfect opportunity to create that capsule wardrobe you’ve been considering, or to switch to a digital library instead of physical books.
5. Let People Help You
One of the most amazing things that happened after our fire was the outpouring of love and support from family, friends, and even complete strangers. Cards, donations, and acts of kindness lifted us while we struggled with our loss, and made us even more aware of the needs we could help fulfill once we got back on our feet.
6. Replace Items Strategically
Once you’re stabilized and have the resources, start replacing the items you lost. But don’t rush it. Replace things as you need them, and be choosy. Pick items built to last, that you love and will use regularly. Borrow when you can, and only buy permanent replacements when you’re sure you need them.
7. Stay Grateful
It’s possible that the worst thing you’ve ever experienced has just happened. But you’re still here, and people love you. Be grateful. Thank God for your blessings. Focus your mind on the good and the abundant, and set your expectations toward building a life that’s even better than the one you had before.
A Minimalist Rebirth
Losing everything in that tragic fire forced me to reevaluate everything. I was surprised to find that I didn’t mourn my stuff as much as I mourned the loss of the sense of safety I had felt. I doubt I’ll ever leave the house again without wondering if it will be there when I return.
The only real loss that still aches is my pets. But my husband, children, and I are safe, and thanks to insurance, we have the means to rebuild. Now, we’re carefully and intentionally rebuilding our house, trying to decide what to replace of all that was lost.
Life is good, despite the tragedy. And we’ve been given a new start to live a simpler lifestyle. As I’ve discovered on itfix.org.uk, sometimes the worst thing that can happen opens the door to an even better life. I’m grateful for that opportunity, even if the path to get here was paved with pain and loss.
So if you ever find yourself facing a similar tragedy, remember: your family is what matters most. Grieve what you’ve lost, but don’t be in a hurry to replace it all. Instead, see this as a chance to build the life you truly want – one focused on what really matters. The road ahead may be difficult, but with the love and support of those around you, you just might find yourself on the path to an even better tomorrow.
